“There’s a lady at the door, Grandma.”
The telephone was screwed to the wall. I pulled its twisty cord, as far as I could, to see who the three-year-old had been talking to.
“Grandma?”
Hospital hold music played Opus Number One.
“The lady said there’s something wrong with Mommy’s baby.”
I dropped the phone and ran.
But when I opened the door, nothing was there.
I really like how smoothly your story connects the reader to the hospital and what events must be happening there without ever needing to shift the setting. It was a really impressive use of such a small amount of words.
Thank you so much for the lovely feedback. I really appreciate you stopping by.
sent a shiver down my spine…..
My job here is done! 🙂 Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it.
Wow that got me ….
BOO! 🙂 Thanks for the comment and your time. I appreciate it very much.
Something about children and ghost stories always gets me! This was spooky!
I think the creepiest ghost stories include the things only children can see. Nice job creating a chilling story!
There are great internet rabbit holes you can fall down with the freaky things kids say. It’s so entertaining. And terrifying. Thanks for reading, Jolan!
That was a scary one! I liked how you brought the angle of the hospital in the story. Nicely done.
Thank you so much.
So creepy I got a shiver. Great job!
Thank you!!
You did a great job of dropping little hints to paint a bigger picture – from the title to the hospital hold music. I like the mystery of the lady at the door – who was she? Or rather, whose ghost?
Thanks for the comment!
There will be a follow up to this one. #basedontruth. 😉
Ohhh I loved the image you created there. The little girl made it that much creepier with her ability to hear the ghost. Well done, Trish!
Little kids can be so creepy, right?! Thanks so much for your comments Melony.